Updated: Nov 11, 2020
How do you deal with your pain? That raw pain that you are experiencing in your life? Do you accept it and work with it to find new strengths or do you hide away from it hoping it will all go away?
Personally, I have found (through a lot of hurt) that facing pain head on is the greatest way for me to succeed and learn. By taking new lessons from my hurt, I can find new paths to bring me to happier times. It is not always easy, but it is far better than hiding away from the pain.
Through my journey of discovery, I have also understood the importance of not judging others who are struggling. I was judged terribly as a young person and it wasn’t nice. I was constantly compared and became super paranoid, terrified and fearful of life. I was suffering from abandonment issues and in terrible pain from being sexually abused and groomed by a family acquaintance and from being rejected by my biological Fathe (no-one can tell you what that pain is like). No-one knew that I was being groomed and therefore no-one knew how to handle the bad behaviour that came with it (trying to keep being abused a secret).
I was written off as a failure, labelled a juvenile delinquent and shoved into psychiatric care. I was a complicated bundle of youth. It took me nearly 35 years to speak out, and now I have it feels liberating. If someone had only asked if I was ok 35 years ago then who knows how much sooner my pain could have eased? I was a nervous wreck, suffered from PTSD, bulimia, drug and alcohol indulgence, and had night terrors for a good part of my life.
If we can accept and support others through their pain and recognise that there may be something else going on in that person's life, then we can help close the gap of pain and hope for that person sooner.
We all need a friend, and we all have someone somewhere that loves us. It is important to remind people of this and also ourselves when we are feeling low, we are loved.
If you know someone who has gone off the rails, then maybe check in and listen. Please don’t walk away and judge them, they may need you.
I have seen so many suffering in silence, and I have also seen many people suffering and throwing stones. I hope someone can reach out to these people on the back of this read to give someone somewhere some hope, because they absolutely do need you.